No Regrets: What If You’re Not Meant to Know What Could’ve Been

We all make decisions we second-guess later - a relationship we stayed in too long, a job we didn’t leave soon enough, something we said (or didn’t say).
Sometimes those moments leave us with a dull ache.
Other times, they feel more like a bad neon sign we can’t turn off - loud, permanent, misspelled.

That’s where I often think about the “No Regerts” tattoo.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s a meme-worthy image of a tattoo gone wrong. Whether it’s real or not doesn’t matter - it’s still painfully relatable in its irony.
It’s a meme, yes. But also a mirror.
Regret can be loud. Regret can feel chaotic.
And just like that tattoo, it can feel a little too permanent to make sense of right away.

The more I reflect on those moments, the more I’m reminded of the farmer and the horse, and how sometimes, we just don’t get to know the full picture.
I’ve been thinking about this parable again. You’ve probably heard it by now:

The Farmer & the Horse
(Alan Watts version)

Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate.
They said, “We’re so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.”
The farmer said, “Maybe.”

The next day, the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it. That evening, everyone came back again and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!”
The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day, his son tried to break one of the wild horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg.
The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad.”
The farmer responded, “Maybe.”

The next day, the conscription officers came around to draft young men into the army. They rejected his son because of the broken leg.
Again, all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!”
And again, the farmer said, “Maybe.”

To every twist in the story, the farmer simply says, Maybe.

It’s a quiet reminder that we don’t always get to know what’s good or bad, lucky or not.
Sometimes the meaning doesn’t reveal itself until much later.
And sometimes not at all.

Why Regret Shows Up Loudest in the Pause

Regret rarely shows up in the moment.
It sneaks in afterward, when the dust settles and we’re left alone with the "what ifs."

But here’s the thing. Regret assumes we had clarity we didn’t.
It asks us to evaluate past choices through the lens of what we know now.

That’s not wisdom. That’s hindsight dressed up as guilt.
And it keeps us spinning in place instead of moving forward.

You Don’t Need to Trace the Moment It Went Wrong

Most of the time, there isn’t one clean turning point.
Our lives are shaped by layers - conversations, choices, missed calls, gut feelings we did or didn’t follow.

If you're trying to go back and find the exact moment things shifted, let this be your permission to stop. Mostly because it doesn’t exist. But also, because we can’t ever really know what the outcome would have been had we made a different decision anyway, because there were so many other things happening to influence it.
That energy is better spent coming back to what matters now.

Realignment Isn’t About Regret - It’s About Remembering

When things feel misaligned, the answer isn’t to force or fix.
It’s to pause, listen, and realign from within.
It’s to get quiet, get honest, and remember what we stand for.
Your values are the compass. Your why is the anchor.
You don’t need a five-year plan.

You just need to ask:
What matters to me right now?
And am I actually living like it?

Remembering Through the Body
Sometimes, realignment isn’t a mental process.
It’s something we feel in the body before we can name it.
A tight chest. A restless heart. A deep knowing that the way we’re living doesn’t quite match what we believe.

This is why yoga, walking, primal expression, even stillness - becomes part of the path home.
It’s why I talk about self-connection through the body just as much as the mind.
Because clarity doesn’t always come from thinking harder.
Sometimes it comes from moving differently.

Here are a few journaling prompts to get you started:

• What am I craving more of right now?
• What feels out of sync with my energy or integrity?
• Where am I making decisions from fear instead of clarity?
• What values have I been neglecting, and why?
• How can I come home to myself this week - not in theory, but in action?

Maybe You’re Not Lost at All
Some of the things we regret most were never mistakes.
They were pauses. Detours. Lessons that softened us or shaped us.

You’re allowed to begin again - not because you messed up, but because you're allowed to choose differently.

Maybe this moment is a doorway.
Not to fixing yourself, but to remembering who you really are.
And maybe that remembering starts in your breath, your body, your own quiet knowing.

You’re not behind. You’re already on the path.

Want to explore this deeper with support? Learn more about 1:1 coaching here.